Filters

I've been told that I have no filter. Well, I have one, it is just broken. I'd like to think that I have some cooth though. For example: "your toes look like fingers" or "you have a mullet" or "____ doesn't know what camel toe is". Yes, these are all things I have said, in the past 2 weeks.


Today, I had a Real Estate photo shoot and part of photographing real estate is making sure that it looks as neat and free from clutter as possible. So, filterless me says to the homeowner..."Can you get some windex and clean this mirror?"...Homeowner says: "do you want to take a few things off the bathroom counter?"....I say, "Yes, how about all of it, and Mr. Homeowner, will you please windex the glass shower door as well?"....oh, but no, I don't stop there. I go on to say, "You know, 1/2 peroxide and 1/2 water with newspaper will clean glass like nobody's business".

See, no filter. I couldn't just ask the man to clean his own bathroom. I had to tell him that the product he was using wasn't cutting it. 


The moral of the story is say what you mean, mean what you say...and I do. So, if you find yourself in a dress that is so tight I can see whether or not your belly button is an innie or an outie, chances are you better cross the street because my filter is BROKEN.

Dog Days of Summer

 "Dog Days" are the hottest, most sultry days of summer. In the northern hemisphere, they usually fall between early July and early September. In the southern hemisphere they are usually between January and early March. In Texas, Dog Days are fully present in April. It is hot enough to fry an egg on the pavement, and some news team will most certainly oblige us with the footage.
The end of school is traveling in the express lane to completion. Kids are amping up for their summer festivities and parents are planning their escapes via camps and one way tickets to Grandparents house. Nevertheless, ready or not, the dog days of summer are just around the corner. Our program looks no different. We are orchestrating camps, vacations, play dates and sleep overs to get us through the heat and away from diving into a bottle of Tequila (not the kids, duh)....It is something about kids having a strict schedule during the school year that offers parents, and perhaps children, a level of sanity. That sanity goes awry during the summer. Probably because, as parents, we relax on "bed times", rules and what not. The sun comes up before the rooster crows and stays high in the sky until the moon comes and kicks it out of the way, so the daylight beaming into a child's room hinders the sleep patterns of normality. Longer days, unorganized days, hot days, summer days. Each year, we survive it, scrapbook it, enjoy it and look back on it lovingly...Until the end of the following school year, where we dread it....ahhh, here we are.
Hey, I guess it is better to be in the Dog Days than in the Dog House, right?

Non-Athlete trains for a marathon....

Meet the trainer, the motivator, the culprit, the marathon man. He's not nice to me. He has awakened muscles that chose to hibernate back in the early 1970's, so naturally, they are roaring, like a bear. I'm even grunting as though I have been in hibernation. Then, after he beats me up with this "work out" (which, for me, should be called a "knock out")...not only do I have to deal with aches and shakes, I also have massive hunger pains. 

Someone feed the bears! 

The marathon is 6 months away. This is my "before" shot. I thought you would want to see what I look like before I start trimming the treads off my shoes. Mostly, I have been walking, jogging, wheezing, cussing and then laying in people's bushes, but that is ok, I will make it a tenth of a mile, I can feel it. My trainer makes fun of people with those "ridiculous 13.1 stickers" on their car window. Don't tell him, but when I finish this, half marathon, I am air brushing that number on my car, with glitter and flames, in hot pink, down both sides. Because if I am going to work this hard to run down some street with an insane amount of other people sweating, wheezing and wearing (gag) athletic gear....I deserve a hallelujah, amen, you go gurrrrlllll.

I might even put some chrome wheels on...low ride that biach and put a florescent light underneath...and Trainer Dude, I WILL be picking you up in my pimpin' ride on marathon day, prepare yo'self..........................fool!

All About ME!

Mother's Day. A day to be waited on hand and foot massage my kids feet. A day to eat delicious food prepared by someone else cook for my children. My day to kick back, relax and enjoy mend owie's, handle tantrums, clean up messes. Mother's Day is truly a day about ME my children. 

Thankfully, I get to celebrate this day because of my girls. Each day I feel blessed to be their Mama. "My day" was filled with joy, the love of my children, good company, handmade cards, sunshine, a gorgeous Bouquet of Roses, one Gerber Daisy and a gift certificate for a massage. I hope that if you are a Mom, you experienced fulfillment and complete happiness on this blessed day....

River Walk

What to do on a gorgeous Sunday....what to do on Sunday? 


Call up your good buddies and head to the Riverwalk. We had lunch, walked around the river, went to the Alamo. It was a day of good times. Bella, after a day of good times, was ruthless about wanting ice cream. So, Shannon partner in crime and I took it upon ourselves to "learn her a lesson". We went around the car and made everyone say what they were thankful for about our special day. Sarah, Lexie, Shannon and myself were quick to reply what we loved about our day. Bella says "I will tell you what I am thankful for about my day if you get us ice cream". So, my reply was (with evil laughter playing in the background of my head) "Bella, YOU have to write down 10 things you are thankful for about today"....


Needless to say: lesson learned. She wrote down more than 10 things (thank you Shannon, you rule!), apologized for not being thankful and in the end, got a small ice cream cone. One thing is for sure, that girl can negotiate like nobody's business. I can stand to learn a thing or two from her "skills" Cuz, Mama needs some new shoes.