OSSUM Pedicure

Texas Toes.

My friend Shannon and I went to get a pedicure at my favorite little family owned joint. They are cheap, they do a good job, they are thankful for your business and they speak kind of good English.

 Mom and Dad are from Vietnam. They came here when their children were very young. They opened a nail salon. Their only son, James, instructed them that the only way to really learn the English language, is to talk to people, a lot. ~James speaks English, Vietnamese, Chinese, some Spanish and a little bit of French. His English is VERY GOOD, he talks a lot! ~

So, Mom is doing my pedi, Dad is doing Shannon's pedi. We are the only 4 people in the salon. It might be a little noteworthy to tell you that Shannon and I have just had a margarita, and well, we were kind of "happy".

Mom tells us: "my husband getting bit by a snake lass night".

(Shannon and I both look at the man doing her pedi) I was secretly looking for fang marks on his neck. Shannon and I are looking at Dad with wonder and amazement. How is he alive? Was it poisonous?

Anyhow, Mom goes on to say: "snake leave a juice on heeez boot, you know, isss a oison". Instantly, we try not to giggle. Poison, got it. Mom says: "he was bit 2 times by snake. one time in Vietnam, he bite by a snake 18 feet long, wait, translating is bad (Mom and Dad are now conversing in Vietnamese, I don't know what they are saying but I can imagine they are calculating that an 18 foot snake would be an anaconda and they wouldn't be here to tell this story if that were indeed the case)...."Mom says: it was sick (6) feet", "he kill it with the lawn mower, the snake head gotta suck in the motor".

I say, "WHERE DO YOU PEOPLE LIVE that you are getting bit by snakes in your yard?". Mom laughs and says: "I tell him, he bitting by snake sree (3) times, he live forever!"...."We live in the woods, we have a lossa wildlife in our yard....deer, snake, bird, awesome". (Doing my best to bottle up and swallow anything that resembles complete hysterical laughter, I look at her like "uhhhhh, awesome?") Mom is less than enthused by my inability to translate "awesome" as an animal in the wild. So, she turns to Shannon. She keeps saying "awesome. awesome. long teef, wiss fang, awesome." Shannon is digging deep and out of nowhere, she pulls it up "OH, you mean P-O-S-S-U-M"....Mom is pleased "Yes! wiss long tail, curling up, (she smiles) "YES, OSSUM!"