The "Non" Athlete

This is how it started...

The A+ tennis player asked me if I wanted to play badminton. To be honest, I thought it was "badmitten", see, I didn't even know what the hell I was playing. For the complete entertainment and joy of those unassuming folks on the beach, I accepted the A+++ tennis players challenge. Do you see her? She is standing there with her hands on her hips, like she is bored. I'm ready, my racket (is it called a racket?) is in the upright position and the ball thingy with the net thingy is in my other hand, ready for me to lob it or launch it or whatever I'm supposed to do with it. Why am I not looking at my opponent? Well, because my step Dad is giving me secret instructions. The A++++ player is about to get it handed to her, and she is clueless, bored, but clueless.....

This is me, returning her serve, boo ya! Even the guy behind me is impressed, he is on the phone with ESPN. It is irrelevant that he is talking about his service interruption, and the boxing match something or another....I'm going to pretend he was talking about how bad~minten my skills are!

Here, I am demonstrating that you don't really have to hit the part rubber ball/ part net thingy right in the CENTER of your racket, that it takes more skill to skim it on the top of the racket....

This is the A+++++ trying to do some back handed move that is clearly bad form. My strategy has been to keep moving her backwards until she falls into the crater that my step Dad is calling a moat. I cannot be bothered with the fact that there has to be a castle around it in order for it to be called a "moat", but whatever. I am smoking the red head tennis player in the baddest game of BAD MITTEN.

Defeated. Sad but true. Wait, why is she smiling? I beat her, well, kind of. Even though I don't know what the game is really called or what the ball thingy is called, or what the object/rules/scores of the game really are. That is not important. All you need to know is that the "non" athlete beat the A+++++++++ tennis player in a very strenuous game of bad mitten.