a do over.

I have these L brackets on a wooden shelf, only when we moved, I donated all of the L brackets except for 2, on accident. The 2 that I kept, were conveniently connected to the other wooden shelf...right. I went to Lowe's to buy 2 more L brackets (because i donated 6 of the same bracket and thought it would be amusing to BUY yet 2 more).

I went to screw the brackets into the shelf and one side was too loose. Realizing that the screws were too long on that one side, I went to back them out with the drill, but, the screws were stripped, damn them. What do you do to get stripped screws out of a bracket that is connected to the shelf that you are trying to hang because you have already hung the other shelf that had the brackets perfectly screwed in them forever, son of sh*t? Well, if you are me, you take your thumb and put it on the top of the screw and put a wrench on the bottom of the screw and turn really hard until a shard of metal is embedded in your thumb.

That is day 1.

Day 2:

In this new home, I have to orchestrate myself and the doors in the master bathroom. It is a daily synchronized beauty regimen. Open one door, go in, slightly close that door to open closet door. Close closet door to open linen closet door....but watch out for bathroom door that you originally slightly closed because that MO FO creeps open and tries to jack up your symphony of moves. This happened to me, this morning and my elbow took the hit, in the form of a black knot.

Then, my kids were having a terrible horrible no good very bad day and therefore, used their Mommy, me, as their personal punching bag to release ALL emotions. Aww, for me? Thank you.

I was being nice and going to make popcorn for them while we watched a Christmas movie together, only when I took the popcorn out of the pantry, a glass jar of pickles fell onto the tile. Immediately following it was a jar of pepper jelly, guess which one shattered? Yep, GREEN pepper jelly jar. AAAAHHHHH.

I went into the garage to get the broom and dust pan, when I grabbed the broom, the rake fell and gouged my eyelid. Are you *&*%^$ kidding me?

I swept up the glass, cleaned up the jelly, cried the whole time because my kids are also in the background fighting over what Christmas movie to watch, Polar Express or The Smurfs. Now, that's the spirit.

The corn is popped, nearly burnt, my eyelid hurts, my elbow now has a mass growing on it but hey (after a lot of tears, tantrums and crying, while my children watched me) we are watching Polar Express together, which is our family tradition.

I get up to get something out of my room and SLAM my shin into the aforementioned shelf on my bedroom floor that cannot be hung because it has the cockeyed L bracket with the stripped screws that have taken up residency in my thumb. S E R I O U S L YYYYYYYYYYY

Can I have a do over, please?