Barbie has this dog.....

(Some history) We don't have a dog, we have a cat. The reason we don't have a dog is, well, many.

1. They smell.
2. They poop in your yard.
3. You have to walk them, and then they poop in other people's yard
4. You have to scoop the poop.
5. They have to be bathed.
6. They smell.

No dogs, no hamsters, no reptiles of any sort, no fish, a few deer in the neighborhood, in the house, uh, only a cat.....and only until he, well, you know, kapeesh?

(Today, well, technically, a month ago) Bella started saying she wanted a dog. I am definitely with firm fists and stomping feet telling her and Tim NO DOG. Then, I list the reasons above. It was like I was talking in Japanese, they were looking at me, pursing their foreheads, but not really understanding the words coming from my "pie hole".
So, Bella goes on to master her negotiation skills and says, "What I mean is, I was wondering if you would get me a dog that eats and poops PRETEND? Barbie and the Tanner Dog?".
Firm fists and stomping feet, NO BELLA! She goes on to say "How about Baby Alive then?". I say, "Maybe we will get Barbie and the pooping dog.....for um, Christmas".(I said this knowing they were sold out everywhere) I, in no way, was ever going to buy Baby Alive. So, I promised her that we would get Barbie after Christmas once she was back on the shelf (nasty dog and all). I thought they wouldn't put them back on the shelf for a few months.

Today (Today, for real). They had that d*mn barbie at Walmart. Reason #5,467 that I don't like to shop at Walmart, note to self.
Of course, Walmart, hmmm, never thought to look there.
Anyhow, we bought it. We get in the car and she opens the package, dropping bits and pieces in my car. I say, "Bella, don't open that in my car because if you lose the poop, you won't have anything to feed that dog". (Oh, boy, never thought I would say that in my life)...I am feeling nauseas and roll down my window for some fresh air.
Then, when we get home I say "keep track of that...poop.....and keep it away from small children. Don't let Lexie play with it. I don't want to be vacuuming up your poop"(I have lost my appetite)....."In fact, keep the poop in your room so that you don't lose it and nobody else will lose it or eat them".....
GROSS!!! This has to be the dumbest idea EVER!!!

Dear Mattel,
Kids never never ever never scoop their live dogs poop. Dogs probably do really eat poop and that is disgusting, but let's not impose that distasteful nasty, grossness upon our small children, okie dokie??? I mean, if a child does have a dog and must take care of it's doodies, then, why would you want to add additional responsibilities of more poop scooping unto them? Don't they have enough to worry about as young children, like making their parents crazy or not peeing in their pants or eating as much junk food as they can without their parents noticing? That is quite the load for a small child, they shouldn't have to take on dog dookie duties as well. It is my parental opinion that in the future, you should make Barbie something more responsible, less maintenance, like, a fish, or a DVD on "how to pick up your playroom".
And by the way, the poop that comes with Barbie and Tanner is like mini- marbles. Real poop is not at all like marbles, if you have a healthy diet and good digestion. Don't you people do research? Geez.
P.S. At least give Barbie some clothes that don't resemble a hoochie mama. Seriously!

I gotta go. I just heard Tim tell Lexie to give Bella her poop back and now, Lexie is crying....apparently, she wants to keep the poop.