Paris - Chapter 2

Deux Paris. There are two versions of Paris, the one during the day, then, there is Paris at night (ahhhh, amore')
Yesterday, it was the boat tour and ooh la la, the Eiffel Tower.
Today, the red bus tour and a celebration of my 40th 29th birthday! It is indeed, my last day in France and I am thrilled to spend it galavanting around Paris.

Madame and Monsieur, à droite (on your right) is the Arc De Triomphe.....the largest triumphal arch in the world, sitting about 161 ft high and 144 ft wide. Do NOT step foot on the street to get to the other side, you must take the underground passage. Why? because you would be engaging yourself in a no win game of chicken, with about 500 cars. It is the busiest traffic circle in Paris. The Arc de Triomphe sits at the western end of the Champs-Elysees. I don't remember what Champs-Elysees means but, to me, it translated perfectly into "SHOPPING BABY!". Miles of stuff to finagle into my suitcase.

Notre Dame sat for centuries, 6 to be exact, as the Gothic masterpiece of the Middle Ages. Notre Dame was far more interesting on the outside than on the inside, to me. I sat at a bar and looked at it from afar, with a beer in hand, very interesting! haha~ On one side of the building, there was a carving of a woman holding a baby, but the baby was decapitated (weird, I thought, why don't they fix that, gothic satanic freaks, isn't this a church for Christ's sake!)...then, I did some research and found out that the woman was a 13th century Virgin, a unique survivor that originally adorned the facade. I was unable to find out more about her story, if you know it, tell me, please!

Um, Pardon, Madame, q'est your toilette f...d up? I need un couvercle, a compart-e-mente? Oui? Comprendre? You know (and I say it louder) something to SIT ON...(the public toilets are weird in France, I'm sorry, no disrespect, but weird nonetheless). One place had a box with a drain, that's it. Like the basin for a shower, but without the doors or a shower head. Squat and piss? UM, LIKE, HELLO, I'M LIKE TOTALLY A-M-E-R-I-C-A-N and I need fluffy tissue paper, a door with a lock and a clean lid to sit my purty little tush on. After all, I am 29 and I am a princess in my own right.


I went all the way to Paris to try escargot. It's French and if I had to potty in a non lid toilet, I should certainly be ok with eating snails, right? I was a little nervous, but they were so good. Buttery with a garlic basil pesto, on bread, with a mouthful of vin, amazing! I mean, what wouldn't taste great with French wine in your mouth? don't answer that.

This was the celebration of my birthday in Paris. I look scared, not because I am turning 29, but because I was terrified that with all of the hair product I had saturating my head, coupled with the wind, that waiter was going to catch my curly q's on fire! AND, I did not want to come back home to the USA with spiked hair and have to pass it off as the most bad ass hairstyle fresh off of the Paris runways.