Target-Aholics Anonymous

I am the founder, president, co captain, congregation, janitor and so on for TARGET-AHOLICS ANONYMOUS.
I have an addiction, I can't help it....that is what addicts say, see what I mean, denial.
Step ONE: Stay away from the red dots, they are VERY HIGHLY CONTAGIOUS.
Step TWO: Stay out of the parking lot of the red dots, they are like aliens, they lure you in.
Step THREE: Find a grocery store that doesn't offer clothing, home decor, seasonal candy, toys and Starbucks.
Step FOUR: Avoid non drive through Starbucks.
Step FIVE: Don't even attempt a drive by, your car knows how to park in the red dot parking lot, all on it's own.
Step SIX: Detox, lock down, just stay home, don't go online or watch Oprah, cuz she talks about Target.
Step SEVEN: Go to Walmart. Scratch that. Walmart is the sole reason why I love Target. Go to Big Lots instead.
Step EIGHT: Call Dr. Phil, you have an unsolvable problem.
Step NINE: Call a friend and have her tell you how bad red dots are for you, that they make you look fat and hideous. Have her talk you down off of the ledge. Tell her to be strong, cuz you aren't. AND whatever you do, don't send her a thank you card that you have to run in and get from Target. Just go to CVS.
Step TEN: Find a friend that doesn't shop at Target. Learn a foreign language.

You are going to need that foreign language to make friends out of the country who have never seen red dots.

I need help, serious help.