Do you ever wish you could rewind a part of your life and press play?
Today, that exact feeling came over me. The girls and I met Tim for lunch and afterwards, we explored the mall. While in Libby Lu, there was a little girl that had on a facial mask, she had very short hair and was shy, but interested in my girls. Bella asked me OUT LOUD, "Why does that BOY have something on his face? "
The little girl tilted her head down and walked over to her Mom.
I made a quick exit from the store and went on to explain to the girls that the little GIRL probably had Leukemia or some type of Cancer. She may have to wear a mask to protect her body from getting germs that could make her feel even more sick.
In retrospect, I wish I could go back to that moment and have Bella talk to the little girl herself. That little girl might have appreciated someone not being afraid of her and may have been happy to have another little girl, just like herself, to converse with.
I believe that a lot of times, we react in such a freaked out way when we encounter someone with cancer. Either automatically being overcome with a feeling of sorrow for them or heartache for what we think is a permanent detriment to that person. Only, to our ignorance. People beat cancer DAILY, so what we should think is how special life is and with a really positive outlook, some CHEERING ON, we can overcome just about anything that life sends our way. Humans, after all, are phenomenal. The mind has the power to do more than we know, or more than we give credit to.
SO, if I could relive that situation, I would tell her how brave and adorable she is, invite her to a play date and let that little girl feel as all little girls her age should. I would teach my girls a different lesson by handling myself differently. I am so sorry for running away from not having the perfect answer and allowing myself to hide away so that I could find it....
So sweet Charisse! And it is important to teach our children those lessons. I know it was hard for my girls to see the changes in my dad, but I just reassured them everyday he was the same old Papou and no matter how he looked, he was the same.
ReplyDeleteOn another note, why am I not suprised that you were already at the mall?!? Girl, you waste no time!
That is a great lesson to teach kids. I hear time and time again from friends that are going through infertility, that it is okay to just ask-'how are you?' Not to be afraid or tiptoe around the fact that they are facing something challenging.
ReplyDeleteGreat story and reality check. We all have so much to be thankful for during this Thanksgiving season!
ReplyDeleteDon't be too hard on yourself Charisse - I think that you did the best you could at the time - and used your example to TEACH your girls...I cannot tell you how many times I have raised my voice and ranted or then felt SO badly -then went back and apologized - wanting to rewind...even though your explanation did not directly touch the young girl...it DID touch YOUR heart and therefore enabled you to touch the lives of your girls...they will see that in you - and there will be a time - even if in ten years that Bella or Lexie will grab the hand of someone "different" and treat them as their equal...because it will come natural to them... :) We are all working hard to embrace those teachable moments...parenting is so hard!
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